Thoughts On a Well Loved Grandpa

Today I received some sad news that has been a long time coming, in my opinion. My grandpa Joe has passed away. I don’t know that I feel as sad as I should about it, but I don’t think I feel bad about not being as sad as others may be.

You see, my grandpa was a great man. He didn’t have to love me or be the grandpa that he was to me. As a child, he and my grandma put together the best gift boxes for Christmas. They were individualized for each grandchild and well thought out. He and Grandma came to my baptism even though he is Jewish and my grandma was a different religion from me. (I’m sure Grandma pushed him to come, but he came and at least pretended to be happy to be there!) I know he called all of the granddaughters Sweetheart, but it was the way that he said it that I loved and really felt that he knew me individually. The grandpa I knew and loved took me out to dinner while my parents were out of town. He also “fixed” my car for me until my dad could come home and do a better job of it when I was a teenager. I’m sure some of the concerts he came to were because Grandma made him come, but I could always count on them being there. He didn’t have to come really. He could have stayed home, but he didn’t because he loved my grandma and he loved me.

He was a stubborn man and watching Grandma get frustrated with him for not hearing her because he couldn’t hear much of anything was humorous in it’s own right. I don’t know how much he couldn’t hear and how much he chose not to hear, but I didn’t mind repeating myself, even if he did have a grin on his face when he asked, “what?” for the third time. I know there was a time in his life that things were different, but the grandpa I knew loved me. He loved my daughter and even seemed to enjoy my boys over the last few years. He always commented on my kids’ beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes. He even found a Kewpie Doll that he thought looked just like Celeste and wanted her to have it because it reminded him of her.

There is a joke in my family that my last name never should have been Dover, it should have been Chubin. Why? Because even though my dad’s biological dad is a Dover, my dad walks, talks and acts just like his step-dad, Joseph Chubin. Grandpa Joe raised him as his own. My dad learned to work on cars along side Grandpa Joe and he even learned to cook like Grandpa Joe. (Not always a good thing, trust me, there are stories!) Grandma and Grandpa even passed on things that my dad later had to overcome, but my grandparents were proud of him for it. They supported him when he decided to join the Mormon church because drugs and alcohol were no longer a part of his life when he did that. Grandpa Joe often stood in the background of many things in my life because that was the kind of man he was.

The past few years, he had been slipping though. I was able to spend some time with him when my family went to Disneyland in 2011. (The picture is of Grandpa Joe trying on hats in Disneyland.) He happened to be visiting my aunt who lives not too far from there, so they came for a day. I could tell then that things were getting worse. Since then he has never gotten better. He couldn’t live on his own, but he didn’t really want to live with anyone else. I think he had been ready to pass on since my grandma passed away years ago.

There are some things I believe as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I believe that my grandparents are finally whole again. I believe that my grandma was there to meet him when he left this earth and that they have been reunited. He has led a good life and was a good father and grandfather to so many. I have wonderful memories of him and so many funny stories that I can pass on to my children about my grandpa. He was a thoughtful soul who I started missing years ago when his health and mind started going.

I’m so glad that I was able to know him and love him. I’m so grateful for the memories and the good times with him. I’m also thankful that he is finally at peace with my grandma. I am sad that he has died, there is no denying that, but I’m so happy that he can finally be where he wants to be and his spirit is no longer in a broken body.

May your Spirit live on, Grandpa Joe, in all who knew you and loved you. You are missed on Earth, but reunited with those you have missed for so long already, and for that I am happy for you. I love you!